all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Randomize
