I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize
