I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
