Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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