I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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