You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
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