Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Randomize
