It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
