apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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