5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
