I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
