Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
