I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
