belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Sorry about my life...
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