I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Randomize
