Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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