Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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