Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Randomize
