I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
