I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
