i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
