Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Shame - the story of my life.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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