im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Randomize
