He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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