Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
