omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
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