I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
