Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
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