Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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