anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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