I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
