"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
