I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
