I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
