He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Randomize
