yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Randomize
