My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
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