Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Randomize
