he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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