whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
