Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Vodka?
Forever.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Everclear isn't food dammit
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Randomize
