just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
its liver damage thursday
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
