this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
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