So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
My pussy is not your playground.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
