a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Randomize