I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
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