I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
