It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Just high enough for therapy.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
