So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Randomize
