Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
