She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
