I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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