I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
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