We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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