Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
