My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
