cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I feel like a drive thru vagina
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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