I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
