She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
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