But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize