We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize