i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
