I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
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