I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
