No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
