he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
